A lot of times people ask what my heart is...to rephrase better in essence they ask, "What is the passionate desire of your heart of hearts to do in this life?"
You see I sometimes struggle with this question. Most of the time it all seems fuzzy and I don't really know. Africa is in my heart but it doesn't at least feel the same as the way it bleeds out of other people.
I know God called me back here for two years. I know that it is for his purpose and glory. My heart is to serve God where he's called me...that's it.
Maybe I'm wired differently, but I talk to so many people and they say God broke my heart for this or that (orphans, africa, mozambique, China, Somalia, prostitutes, etc.) and then decided to do something. Instead I went because God asked me to and am relying on him to bring me around, truly, I mean truly embrace this call and deeply love the people of Southern Africa.
I'm following God and am continually needing him to break my heart so I'm truly broken for the people I'm serving, for Southern Africa's orphans. Maybe its just I'm a bit thick skinned or maybe its because I've been in Africa for awhile...but often I ask God for just one thing...the ability to love.
Comments, other's experience??? Does this make sense?
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8 comments:
Hi elevate alumni! Havent spoke to you in a while, but this is one of the best posts I have read in a long while.
It is inspiring to hear that you follow one thing...God. You do not try and make Him small, you keep Him big.
My prayers are sent your way! Stay safe.
It's amazing how God begins to teach each of us the truth of what He is calling us to do: love God, love people. God has broken my heart for Africa and orphans, but He has called me to be broken for ALL.
I've learned that just because I'm broken and I've seen a glimse of someone/something through the eyes of God doesn't mean that He necessarily calling me there. We go because we are called, brokeness is only the first step.
you're not alone in this feeling. But I think it's great. We aren't called to do this or that. We are called to love God and love others. This shows with obedience. And if God calls you specifically to go to Africa, then you go...and you'll love him and others there. You will never have that identity crisis, of "Am I this or that? Am I to be a preacher/prophet/apostle..." No you are a lover of God, a follower of Christ, and the rest will naturally flow from you love, regardless of what continent you are on. :0)
Through him and for his name’s sake we received grace…to call people…to the obedience that comes from faith Romans 1:5...
it's awesome that your faith in Him is enough reason for you to obey!...
Christy says you should watch the 'Loving Well' dvds by Beth Moore :-)
that is probably a very normal struggle but i wanted to remind you that love isn't merely a feeling. as with anything, feelings/emotions are subject to change and there are times when you will feel more loving than others...but that isn't necessarily an accurate reflection of what's going on inside.
by obeying God's call on your life, you are showing that you love and respect Him. by dedicating yourself to serving others and meeting needs, you are showing love. basically, I am just trying to remind you that when you line up with the word of God and are obedient to Him, He will equip you with what you need to accomplish His will for you...and He will continue to fill you with His love, so you don't ever have to worry about not having enough love to give the people you serve.
Hi Patrick, it was a joy to see a few weeks ago in Swazi. I had to reply to your post as I can honestly say I do understand what you're writing and it does make sense to me. I often have similar thoughts and feelings. When I can put it into words, put it down on paper, I will send it your way. In brief I believe God calls us each in a unique way to fit perfectly with the unique way He has created each of us. While we may think it should be idfferent or want it to be different, His way is perect. Praying ofr you and all the Cup folks. Lori
Man! Patrick! God called and you answered! Nothing is greater or more rewarding than that! When it comes down to it, I think you are in a great place spiritualy, because one you are continually asking God to break your heart for things that break His, and that is so KEY!!! Don't lose sight of your dependence on Jesus! I know I have so many times tried to make it on my own, and it's proven time and again that's not what God has for me! I know by now this might be old news, but I just wanted to let you know I'm praying for you, Patrick, and I can't wait to hear some more Africa stories! Love ya, man!
Hey Friend! I have to say that I feel sort of the same way with you on this. There are things God has shown me and passion has grown for those things but its only part of the heartbeat. I am just now coming into the place where I just want what God has for me right NOW and not worry about the future. Following God when He asks us to do something isn't bad. It confirms that you are in His will. Sometimes the people whose hearts break for whatever thing, and then they do something about it may be God too but it could also be out of God's timing...thats between them and God though. I can attest though that doing what God asks us to do doesnt always draw out passion. Sometimes its a lesson He wants to teach us. Steady your heart, continue to keep it open and follow where He leads.
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