Friday, June 19, 2009

Inside of Me



God’s been opening up my heart recently. He has shown me my need for people. I think as a young man one receives many messages both obvious and subtle telling you that you need to stand on your own two feet and that asking for help is weak. In my head I knew that this was contrary to the Word of God but I still lived in fear and pride…standing as a lone ranger.


Through sickness, reading the living word and recognizing my own limitations God has been slowly working this out of me. Truth be told, no one has it all together all of the time. I need God but the truth is that a lot of the time God works through people. To be God’s instrument of reaching is fine but to be loved by God through others has traditionally been unnerving to me. It’s to admit weakness, need, dependence…on God but more troubling on others is difficult. It’s healthy though, it’s being real about ourselves and our situation.


Kb made an interesting comment the other day. He said, “eish, you Americans do not know how to receive a gift. Immediately when or right after receiving the gift you go out or begin to plan to buy a gift for the person who gave you the gift. You treat gifts like a transaction; you need to learn to simply receive.” Yeah, so I have lots to learn, I need to learn that when God is reaching out to me I can just receive. I can admit need and let him through friends, family and strangers fill that need. Lots to learn…



2 comments:

Heather Stewart said...

Strong word, Pat, we should all take note of this.

Anonymous said...

because I just read this today & it seems relevant:
"And so I have come to understand that strength, inner strength, comes from receiving love as much as it comes from giving it. I think apart from the idea that I am a sinner and God forgivces me, this is the greatest lesson I have ever learned. When you get it, it changes you. My friend Julie from Seattle told nme that the main prayer she prays for her husband is that he will be able to receive love. And this is the prayer I pray for all my friends because it is the key to happiness. God's love will never change us if we don't accept it."
From "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller, p.232

brittany b